blackandwhiteinme =): December 2008

Hope everything will stay as it does..

People say, if there is no meeting, there is no separation.. Omg who the heck created that stupid idiom ? If you didn't meet anybody, how u know ppl, love ppl, make friends ? If you didn't meet ppl, human could not longer be said as a social creature anymore.. That is a thing that ppl couldn't leave behind.. But anyhow and i don't know why.. I hate farewell ! Seems a lot of people is leaving here now.. Why i have to be separated with people who i've just met for a very short time only ? God, can't you make it a bit longer, make me meet them earlier, or maybe, if possible...

Just stop the time for me .. ?

Was it me that didn't use the time properly ? Didn't I enjoy the good time with them ? Maybe I did enjoy it a lot, that makes time also goes by soooo fast. Few days left, and i have to leave everything behind. Memories. Togetherness. Laughter. Sadness. Jokes. All the good and bad we had gone through together.. Please tell me, what else can I do to make it worth ? I really, really don't wanna feel this ! I cried. Tears have just came down so fast, without asking my permission to pass. First night of a realization of what is going to happen for the next few days, I was crying to sleep. When I woke up in the morning, tears came and visited me again. I just couldn't be alone to prevent me to think of the sadness.. I should have something to do then. But still, it didn't help at all.. I keep thinking for this few days.. What should i do in this very limited time ? I think i found the answer.

Time is still there. Make a full use of it.

If i could just have 1 wish right now.. *Please just keep everybody near. I don't want any farewell happen. I just want to spend a lil bit longer time with you. Slower down the time a bit oh God...*

Dear you,

Even though we are going to be separated soon, you have been so special in my heart. Maybe I didn't do anything important to make you remember of me. But a simple 'hi' could grow a lot of things up. All the things we have gone through will stay in me. Time is too short somehow. Or maybe it's just the timing error. We are just haven't been through anything much enough. But those times will repeat, won't it ? Anyway, Everything that we've been through means a lot. Maybe they are just some simple thing such as some chit chat-ing, some joking or poking around. However it wouldn't get out of my mind very easily..

I keep say it to myself,"You are not going to lose them !". But I just couldn't take it to my own real world. How can I repeat the crazy time with you ? How can I re-do what we did, with others ? Nobody ain't going to do it as well as you do ! =). I love you, my friend.

Me,
Olyvia.

?

Feel so useless now.
Why my heart has to feel such thing ?

Stupid.
Stupid coz even me myself don't know what is goin on.
The only thing i have to do is :
keep quiet
don't comment on anything
throw away the stupid dream.

Stupidlyph~

For you.

Eight years later
Time goes by fast
Got my memories
And they will last

I try to keep it simple
'Cause I hate goodbyes
I try to keep it simple by
Telling myself that

I will remember you
And all of the things that we've gone through
There is so much I can say
But words get in the way
So if were not together
I will remember you
I will remember you

We're a picture
In my mind
When I want to find you
I just close my eyes
You'll never be that far from me
So don't say goodbye 'cause
You'll never be that far from me
I'm telling myself

I will remember you
And all of the things that we've gone through
There is so much I can say
The words get in the way
So were not together
I will remember you

You were there when I needed a friend
Thank you thank you
I never told you how much that meant
Gotta thank you thank you

I will remember you
And all of the things that we've gone through
There is so much I can say
The words get in the way so

I will remember you
And all of the things that we've gone through
There is so much I can say
The words get in the way
We're not together
I will remember you
We're not together
I will remember you

I will remember... you

*dedicated to u-know-who-u-are.
Hope we can meet again someday. =)

an unimportant post.

How long i haven't been updating my blog ? It's long, i think. I haven't been to anywhere else except for this jail called Sunway.. 20th November was my last exam day, but i couldn't enjoy my holiday just yet, until the judging day... Luckily i passed all my subjects ! But, why am i still stuck here ? Everyday filled only with the routines : work. Even when people were enjoying their party, holiday, im standing there, doin nothing but to see people's laughter, smile, joy. Miss my home ! I took a lil time to go to my private place, thinking of what am i doin here ? Just to be stupid to see people's enjoying their party ? But i just trying to be positive ! Every road to success is always under construction. This is goin to be a very, very important lesson for me.

Ghosts around me...

I was in a bad depression. It seems ghosts are everywhere, haunting me, won't let me go. Tied so tight between uncertainty, scattered life, in a deep agony. I just want to get out from this hell. I don't want to see those ghosts no more. I'm done. I'M DONE ! That's what my heart screamed. I won't ask you whether you could hear it or not. Because, even myself couldn't.

One night, I heard a voice. A very familiar voice which formed words, which i heard very clearly. "I'll pray for u". I stood there, stared at nothing and started to drop some tears. My heart scream at me again,"Helloo !!! u should have do something bout it !". At that point, i knew that i have to work it out to get the hell out of my mind.

Hours by hours, days by days, those groups of ghosts still don't want to get rid of me ! I relied for the prayer from the owner of the voice, for sure, but also don't forget to pray myself. "Everything is going to be alright. Everybody is going to be alright. But how if it is out of my expectation ? How can i cope with that ? How can I face them later on ?". I started to mumbling myself.

I decided to face it with all the courage and energy i have. It wouldn't change anything if I just ran away, because those ghosts would still be there. Just go inside and see, what is really happening then, I said to myself. After taking a deep breath, I went inside and I saw NOTHING. It was hollow. There were nothing that scared me. Those ghosts have ran away from my life . Prayer and encourage from the voice helped me out. Thanks, I mumbled.

P.S. : Special thanks to GOD, Dad and Mom, who've been supporting me, all da time. Thanks for everyone who sincerely gave their deepest support for me. =)