blackandwhiteinme =): 2010

Compulsion.

I hopped off the bus at that station. A guy standing in front of a building when I walked passed him.

"Notebook? Computer?"

I heard him asking me that. And also everyone whose walked passed through him. I was not really aware of him. I just kept walking. Few steps later, I turned my head to him and saw him carrying a notebook case. Only one. I was thinking, this guy might be selling a stolen notebook, or the most positive thinking that i could get is, (I didn't mean to be this bad, but this is what we do when we don't know anyone perfectly, "Judge the Book by It's Cover), he's selling a notebook that he found from who-knows-where. I was just trying to forget that, until I came out from the building. A bunch of people were already gathered, surrounded the 'notebook guy', and 2 policemen. I couldn't think of anything anymore, except that he was first being suspected. A policeman asked him to show the thing that he was carrying, and checked at it. After a while, he was asked to follow the policemen to the office. I am sure, all of you know how the ending is going to be.

Series of thought running through my mind. I felt that the policemen did a very great job. On the other hand, I pity the 'notebook guy'. Without being biased, I mean, he surely has a reason for doing it. Economic pressure maybe will be the first nominee. I walked back to the bus station to reach home. I turned my head back to him, saw him walked away from the place he was standing, in the middle of 2 policemen, bent.

I hopped on the bus. Blank-staring. Thoughts raging.

Whisper from the heart.

I understand how people will feel when they are hurted by someone or something. Mad, angry, sad, furious, depressed, disappointed, any negative feeling you can ever mentioned. You do anything to express that feeling. Scream, cry. Some could just be able to sit down and do nothing.

But,

It has gone through my thoughts today. Actually, why should we turn that hurted feeling into sadness? I think all of us have a choice. Here's what I thought, and trying to be able to do so.

When someone hurted you, you are a step further to maturity. You've experienced another test and you've passed it. We shouldn't take it as a disappointment. We should take it as encouragement. Take it positively. It teaches us how to be stronger. It makes us not to be a crybaby or overly emotional. It makes us tougher, and we won't feel that sad anymore the next time it happens to us.

p.s/ I wrote this, because I somehow feel prevaricated. But I somehow tried very hard to think positively. I, anyway, am going to enjoy my life. =)

If it doesn't kill you, it'll make you stronger.

Selfish.

Breaking up is just like having the worst nightmare after having the best
dream.
-Author Unknown-

Trapped in a stranger's mind

Just finished reviewing my old post. I think I wrote better blog those old days than these'... LOL. Something big has changed me, but there is always a possibility of changing myself back (:

p.s/ Nothing is impossible in this world except swallowing you own head.

Ups and Downs in life.

I was born in a very warm yet discipline type of family. I have 2 siblings, which are girls as well. We were taught to settle every problems ourselves, and that formed me to a strong and tough woman, at least that is what my friends said.

"If you want something so bad, pursue it yourself! Pa
can do nothing but support you".

Pa told me that, in a very strict but in an understandable way.

And yes, I can live this life without much complaining. I hate it when people starts to complaint bout the 'not so good' food, dress, even life. I am really aware that there are so many unlucky people here in this earth, and that will always reminds me of how lucky I am to be in this shoes. I seem like a tough girl that will never face any problems in life.

But I am not a superwoman.

Like other ordinary girls out there, I have my breakdown point, and it is right here, right now. I always claimed myself as a life-lover girl, put on that big smile whatever happens. I just forget how to smile again. I remembered few months ago, I decided to 'reset' my life, back to zero, start everything again from there. It wasn't easy at all. The more you try to forget your past, the more you'll be reminded of em. A lot of things happened between a very short period of time, and it changed my whole life.

I need someone who really can understand me. For the time being, there's nothing I can do except keep telling myself, that everything, is going to be better in time. I just don't know how long it takes to heal. I will always try, as hard as i can, to be the previous-strong, tough girl.

p.s/ Sometimes I wish for the D day to come faster.

it's 2010 !

Hmm. My last post was on June. Now is May, the next year. And here I am, ready to talk again. A lot of things happened in one year. A lot of things to be said. Update will be coming soon.

p.s. Life is like a rollercoaster. The track is designed, and it depends on how u ride it. Think it's scary, or take the thrill to an enjoyment !